he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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