did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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