Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
