He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
