he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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