I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
