I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
