he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
