12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
