did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
