Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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