Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
