the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
