somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
