That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
