Don't you send me to vm
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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