I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
