You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
