Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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