He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
