His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
