10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
