I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
