i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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