Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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