Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
