I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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