he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize