i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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