So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
