every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
