Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
