Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
