dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
