I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
