So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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