My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
