I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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