Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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