where am i from again
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize