no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
