and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Randomize
