I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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