You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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