I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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