Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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