woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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