we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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