We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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