I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm at about main and main street
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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