Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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