somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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