I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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