I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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