I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
