this will be a night to untag.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
