why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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