Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
