guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want to make out with him forever
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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