i just made my gag reflex go away.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
