Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
