Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You left your phone here
Wait...
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