I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I could make wine with my vomit
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
